I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
porn star boner night. come get it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
50% drunk capacity currently
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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