"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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