North Korea, Best Korea!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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