had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize