return my video game
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize