No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
