i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
