Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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