Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
