Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
