what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
