Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
