Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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