never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
