when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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