3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
