Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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