i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
