And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
