My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
