why didn't you poke me back
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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