marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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