Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just want nice things and good sex
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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