I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
