The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
