my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
