I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
