he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
