If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
