Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
