Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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