Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
