how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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