PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
