Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
