Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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