when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
