I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
