Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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