Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My vagina is very pro this idea
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
