what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
