I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Randomize
