we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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