he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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