thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
