I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
