i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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