We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
