Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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