I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
