It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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