I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
