some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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