i don't like sucking hair
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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