once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
