You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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