Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
