I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
